Precatory Letter (Letter of Wishes): A Personal Addition to Your Estate Plan

What Is a Precatory Letter or a Letter of Wishes?

A precatory letter — sometimes called a letter of wishes or legacy letter — is one of the most meaningful parts of an estate plan.

While your trust or will handles the legal details of your estate planning, a precatory letter gives you the opportunity to share the personal side of your wishes. This document is not legally binding and is not intended to restate the terms of your trust. Instead, it allows you to explain the why behind your decisions and communicate the things legal documents simply cannot say.

A precatory letter is often where clients share:

• Personal values and life lessons

• Hopes for children and future generations

• Family wishes and guidance

• Thoughts about relationships and family harmony

• End-of-life preferences

• Funeral or memorial wishes

• Messages of love, encouragement, and gratitude

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What Should You Include in a Precatory Letter?

We encourage clients to keep this letter simple, sincere, and from the heart.

This is not the place to repeat trust provisions, inheritance percentages, or legal instructions already included in your estate planning documents. Instead, focus on your thoughts, emotions, and intentions.

Some topics you may want to include:

• Why you made certain estate planning decisions

• Your hopes for your children or loved ones

• Advice or wisdom you want to pass down

• Your wishes regarding visitors if you are in an end-stage medical condition

• Whether you prefer privacy or being surrounded by family and friends

• Preferences for flowers, charitable donations, or memorial contributions

• Funeral, memorial service, or celebration-of-life wishes

• Family traditions or memories you hope continue

There is no “right” length or format. Some precatory letters are one page. Others are several pages. The most important thing is authenticity.

Why a Letter of Wishes Matters in Estate Planning

A well-written precatory letter can:

• Provide emotional clarity to loved ones

• Reduce confusion surrounding estate planning decisions

• Help preserve family relationships

• Leave behind values, not just assets

• Offer comfort and guidance after your passing

Many families treasure these letters for generations because they provide something legal documents cannot: your voice.

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Sample Precatory Letter

Dear Family,

If you are reading this letter, it means the time has come for you to carry forward without me physically present. While my estate planning documents handle the practical details, I wanted to leave behind something more personal — my heart.

First and foremost, please know how deeply I love each of you. Nothing I leave behind financially could ever fully express what you have meant to me throughout my life.

Any decisions I made in my estate plan were made thoughtfully, carefully, and with love. My greatest hope is not that everyone agrees with every decision, but that everyone understands they came from a place of care, responsibility, and a desire to protect the family I cherish.

To my children: I hope you continue to support one another. Life will not always be easy, but family can be one of life’s greatest blessings if you choose kindness, grace, and forgiveness. Please do not allow money or possessions to damage your relationships with each other. Those relationships matter far more than anything I could leave behind.

I hope you each build lives filled with purpose, integrity, generosity, and joy. I hope you pursue what matters to you and remember that success is measured far more by character than by accomplishments.

If I am nearing the end of my life, I want peace more than anything. I would prefer a calm environment with close family and dear friends rather than large numbers of visitors. Please don’t feel pressure to make everything perfect. Simply being together is enough.

For my memorial, I would love for people to gather, share stories, laugh, cry, and remember good times together. If someone wishes to honor me, I would prefer donations to a meaningful cause rather than elaborate flowers.

Most of all, I hope you remember me not for how I died, but for how I lived and how much I loved you.

Thank you for the joy you brought into my life.

With all my love,

[Name]

Frequently Asked Questions About Precatory Letters

Is a precatory letter legally binding?

No. A precatory letter is not a legal document and does not replace your trust, will, or advance directives. It is intended to provide personal guidance and communicate your wishes in a more meaningful and emotional way.

Should I include legal instructions in my letter of wishes?

Generally, no. Your estate planning documents already contain the legal instructions. Your precatory letter should focus on your intentions, values, and personal messages.

Where should I keep my precatory letter?

Store your letter alongside your estate planning documents so your loved ones can easily access it when needed.

Can I update my precatory letter?

Yes. Unlike many legal documents, a precatory letter can be updated anytime your thoughts, relationships, or wishes change.

Who should write a precatory letter?

Anyone creating an estate plan can benefit from writing one, especially parents, grandparents, blended families, business owners, or individuals who want to leave behind more than financial instructions.